Resources for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples
As parents and influencers of our young people, we want the best for them, and for our community.
We want our young people to be healthy and proud of who they are. We want them to understand right and wrong. We want them to respect others and respect themselves.
Young people pick up their behaviours from us, their parents and elders. Sometimes, without meaning to, we might say things that excuse disrespectful behaviour towards women, and this sends an unhealthy message to our young people.
When we say things like “boys will be boys”, or “he was having a bad day”, our young people start to believe there are reasons and situations that make disrespectful behaviour acceptable.
Violence against women starts with disrespect. The excuses we make let it grow.
We can all help Stop It at The Start.
Speak Up Booklet
- Text version of Scott Prince video
- Hi, I’m Scotty Prince, proud Kalkadoon man from the Mount Isa region up there in Northwest Queensland. Former NRL player, played for 16 years, and now doing some work in our local communities, and also some coaching with the NRLW, the women’s program. I think it’s everyone’s responsibility to have a chat to young people and children about respect, whether it’s a coach, school teacher, mum, dad, Uncle, Aunty. I think the conversations are always open about what respect looks like. The reason why I wanted to support the Stop It at The Start campaign is that I’m very passionate about, you know, respect towards everyone in the community, especially our women in our lives. I have two young daughters who I want to be a perfect example of that. I want them to realise, you know what respect is, and not accept anything less than being respected as a woman – but respected in community.
Coaches play a massive role in teaching our kid’s respect. So many children come to training from all parts of life, and everyone’s different in their own way. In terms of sport, everyone’s at a different level as well. So, it’s not about making fun of others. But respecting where they’re at, that’s a part of the coach is to bring all that in together and making everyone on the same page and the same level. You know, you’ve got them at the palm of your hands, and you need to show them, you know, what respect looks like. Not only accepting other footy players, but also other elements of the game; whether that’s other coaches, opposition, referees decisions.
Talking to the coaches about showing respect to young women, I think it’s really, really important. If you hear, you know, remarks at training, it’s about stopping training and sitting down and having a conversation about it and it’s really, really important to nip it in the bud straight away and raising awareness about showing respect to our women and girls. I think community has a massive role teaching our young people and children respect. They see and hear and listen to what people say and do, and whatever is accepted when they’re young and that will flow on into their teenage adult life. So, it’s really, really important that we get them at the start. Being a proud Aboriginal man, I’m very passionate about this, because, you know, you’re part of something bigger. You’re part of a community that’s enriched in respecting country, respecting people and I think it’s something that’s built inside you already as part of your DNA. I draw a lot of inspiration through myself as a father, myself as an uncle, myself as a brother and also a coach. I draw inspiration from our culture, from our Elders to pass down to the next generation.
- Text version of Shelley Ware video
- Shelly Ware
Hi, my name is Shelley Ware and I’m a proud Yankunytjatjara and Wirangu woman from South Australia living in the lands of people of the Kulin Nation here in Melbourne. And I have my beautiful son Taj here with me, and we’re talking about respect and respectful relationships. I’ve been really blessed my whole life to have my mother and father, who were brilliant. They taught me respect the way they live their life, the way they were with other people, and the way that they love my brother Aaron and I and I was also very fortunate to have some beautiful grandparents that did an amazing job of living within community and showing us the right way to treat our Elders, our Aunties and our Uncles and our cousins. So, I’ve been really blessed that whole entire time to have my Pappa Ware as a man who showed me what kind of person to be. Being part of The Stop It at The Start Campaign was literally a no-brainer for Taj and I. We’ve seen the full effects of domestic violence on everybody involved, and we wanted to be a part of reminding people that ongoing conversations are really, really important. And that children are taught that being respectful from a young age is a key to decreasing domestic violence, if not stamping it out completely. As Aboriginal people, we believe it’s the whole community’s responsibility to have conversations about respect. Aunties, Uncles, cousins, grandparents, you know, they’re all part of those conversations, daily. Life’s about seizing moments, you know, taking your child to place, that they’re really comfortable and for Taj It’s the ocean and, and the water and being able to surf.
When I’m getting ready to go surfing, we sometimes talk about how like I could of dealt with a situation better, or I could deal with the situation better in the future.
This is where he is open to conversation, and he’ll just start randomly talking about his day. And if you can do that and make your child a better person for the future, and the people that they interact with not much more, you can ask for. What I love about taking time to surfing is that it’s not just about our time to have respectful conversations that he goes out on the wave and I watch him, and he’s got this whole community that are there. You know, they’re teaching him about when to come in on a wave. They’re also having conversations to sitting on their boards, and it’s just great.
And you have respect for the ocean and how powerful it can be.
Yeah, like that too you know, like, he’s spending that time in the ocean and understanding our country. From a very young age we’re taught to respect our elders, to respect country and to respect our community and always give back whatever we can. So, respect is literally Aboriginal culture, and always has been. Taking the shame out of domestic violence it’s vital and part of that is constant ongoing conversations with children, and women, and with men about respect.
Respect to me is treating people equally and not discriminating against others.
I’ve been a teacher for 25 years, and one of my golden rules in my classroom is ‘treat others the way that you want to be treated’ and I just don’t think you can walk through life any other way. Being nice, being kind is just so important and having those conversations, if you’re a coach, you know, you’ve employed a young person, make sure that you seize the moment, there’s always a moment to make someone better. And if you can be a part of that, like nothing better than that.
Bring Up Respect Artwork
Artist Rachael Sarra
- Read about the Bring Up Respect Artwork
- By First Nations artist from Goreng Goreng Country, Rachael Sarra. “My interpretation of ‘Stop It at The Start’ and ‘Respect’ through a cultural lens is the idea of maintaining a strong connection to culture and community support networks. Without these networks and positive role models we are more vulnerable.
This artwork shows a deep textural layer to represent our legacy as the longest continuing culture in the world. The soft curves and movement in the artwork represent the role water plays in our culture as a healing resource. This texture is overlayed by a softer layer symbolising connection—connection to culture and connection to support networks and role models—and the positive influence that community has through culture and conversation.
This layer also emphasises the importance and role that respect plays in both preventing violence and creating healthy relationships, which helps to make sure we have strong, sustainable and resilient First Nations communities.
Through the support of community, represented in the white elements, individuals are able to create self-determined outcomes and be empowered to Stop It at The Start.”
Bring up Respect Lock Up
Respect starts with us
Respecting Women and Girls
The Conversation Guide
Read the whole guide below, or download one of our handy quick chat guides