Shelley and Taj

Shelly Ware

Hi, my name is Shelley Ware and I’m a proud Yankunytjatjara and Wirangu woman from South Australia living in the lands of people of the Kulin Nation here in Melbourne. And I have my beautiful son Taj here with me, and we’re talking about respect and respectful relationships. I’ve been really blessed my whole life to have my mother and father, who were brilliant. They taught me respect the way they live their life, the way they were with other people, and the way that they love my brother Aaron and I and I was also very fortunate to have some beautiful grandparents that did an amazing job of living within community and showing us the right way to treat our Elders, our Aunties and our Uncles and our cousins. So, I’ve been really blessed that whole entire time to have my Pappa Ware as a man who showed me what kind of person to be. Being part of The Stop It at The Start Campaign was literally a no-brainer for Taj and I. We’ve seen the full effects of domestic violence on everybody involved, and we wanted to be a part of reminding people that ongoing conversations are really, really important. And that children are taught that being respectful from a young age is a key to decreasing domestic violence, if not stamping it out completely. As Aboriginal people, we believe it’s the whole community’s responsibility to have conversations about respect. Aunties, Uncles, cousins, grandparents, you know, they’re all part of those conversations, daily. Life’s about seizing moments, you know, taking your child to place, that they’re really comfortable and for Taj It’s the ocean and, and the water and being able to surf.

Taj

When I’m getting ready to go surfing, we sometimes talk about how like I could of dealt with a situation better, or I could deal with the situation better in the future.

Shelly Ware

This is where he is open to conversation, and he’ll just start randomly talking about his day. And if you can do that and make your child a better person for the future, and the people that they interact with not much more, you can ask for. What I love about taking time to surfing is that it’s not just about our time to have respectful conversations that he goes out on the wave and I watch him, and he’s got this whole community that are there. You know, they’re teaching him about when to come in on a wave. They’re also having conversations to sitting on their boards, and it’s just great.

Taj

And you have respect for the ocean and how powerful it can be.

Shelly Ware

Yeah, like that too you know, like, he’s spending that time in the ocean and understanding our country. From a very young age we’re taught to respect our elders, to respect country and to respect our community and always give back whatever we can. So, respect is literally Aboriginal culture, and always has been. Taking the shame out of domestic violence it’s vital and part of that is constant ongoing conversations with children, and women, and with men about respect.

Taj

Respect to me is treating people equally and not discriminating against others.

Shelly Ware

I’ve been a teacher for 25 years, and one of my golden rules in my classroom is ‘treat others the way that you want to be treated’ and I just don’t think you can walk through life any other way. Being nice, being kind is just so important and having those conversations, if you’re a coach, you know, you’ve employed a young person, make sure that you seize the moment, there’s always a moment to make someone better. And if you can be a part of that, like nothing better than that.